


the distance between us the size of a planet

by nohyukc



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Boyfriends, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, One Shot, Short One Shot, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23131645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nohyukc/pseuds/nohyukc
Summary: the rare instance where donghyuck and mark aren't on the same page
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	the distance between us the size of a planet

donghyuck's gaze is raw and unforgiving. unforgiving for what reason? mark doesn't know why. he doesn't think he will ever know why.

his eyes are glued to the television screen for the remainder of the night. whenever mark comments on something, anything, donghyuck's replies are either laced with 1) disinterest 2) satire 3) vacancy. mark's feet twiddle against each other as they always do underneath the beige blanket.

beside him, donghyuck's thumbs mirror his feet above the surface.

in place of the usual snarky comments and the hushed giggles during their television marathons, mark and donghyuck have nothing to say at all, like they are parted by an invisible wall or force. from the corner of his eye, mark stares at his boyfriend. donghyuck bites down on his lip, the plush pink transitioning into a flash of pale white under the applied pressure.

there is something wrong, mark knows it. but he has a love and hate relationship with confrontation, especially when he feels like he has to hold in his own oxygen in order for donghyuck to have his own space, separate from his.

mark clears his throat to remind himself that he is being silly, that he can breathe without punishment. donghyuck pays him no acknowledgement, he rolls his head around once to crack his neck successfully. his eyes linger on the screen, only giving recognition to the characters on _the bachelor._

scratch that, mark believes that he is being punished. reluctantly, he reaches out to caress the brightness of donghyuck's forearm. even in the dim light, he glows. "baby," he murmurs. the younger takes a few seconds to react, slowly turning to face him. mark feels like it's the first time he has ever touched him, though it is far from the truth.

he feels like a deer in headlights as they stare at each other. it is undoubtedly awkward, although donghyuck typically rushes to reassure him that he is never awkward around him with a sweet gesture in reply, or through an exchange of whispers. that he only sees mark in the best light.

there is no leaning into mark, there is no hue of pink on his cheeks, or a smile tugging at his lips. he thinks he is turning into melted wax with the way donghyuck is staring into his eyes. it is no familiar warmth, only harsh flames.

donghyuck starts to hum impatiently, his lips against one another like he's holding a frog in his mouth. it would be considered half a smile if his eyes synced with his the way his dimple is poking out. mark straightens up, hand still brushing against his arm fondly.

"how are you doing?"

donghyuck does a slight shrug, eyes flitting around to anything that's not mark until it focuses on the television again. "alright," he says. short and simple, it's obvious he doesn't want to continue the conversation. mark feels him drifting away into the atmosphere to spend time in another galaxy.

"anything you wanna talk about?" 

"no."

"really?"

"yep."

"babe, look at me."

"why?" donghyuck's voice begins to become accusatory in contrast to his boyfriend's coaxing. he swallows emptiness down his throat, thumbs ceasing from each other. he pulls his arm away from mark's grasp. "i don't understand why you're making a big deal out of this, mark."

mark raises an eyebrow in disbelief. "because i care about you."

donghyuck meets mark's eyes like he's trying to balance the truth in his words. his eyes gloss over in seconds. like he has suddenly lost all balance, he stirs forward to hold his head in his hands. he massages at his temple, voice cracking. "i really... can't fucking stand it when you say that."

mark freezes up. not to imply that he has the worst emotional iq in the world, but he does. he is impossibly clueless on what to do when someone cries in front of him. it's even worse when it might be his fault. to reach out and bring donghyuck's small frame closer to him or to give him some distance?

he leans more towards the latter of his options, then realizes that it's out of the question, more distance is the last thing they need. the distance between them is already the size of a fucking planet. mark turns off the television.

donghyuck starts to sniffle into the white noise, sobs raking their way from the pit of his stomach up to his throat.

scooting a bit closer, mark sees no effort in rushing. donghyuck is like a wailing bird perched on the arm of a park bench, and mark is a light gust of wind. he listens, and carries donghyuck's burdens away as his own.

"shh, it's okay," mark says, nurturing, "c'mere."

he gently tucks his arm around donghyuck's waist, moving his legs onto his lap. mark reclines his neck back to the side a little, allowing donghyuck to nuzzle his face into the open space. he hiccups an "i'm sorry" while mark runs his finger through the brown locks. he untangles what he can, undoing some tension.

"hey, don't talk like that. i'm here, i just want you to know that," he reassures him again and again. but mark thinks it will never be enough with the way donghyuck is rattling against him like an colorful toy in a toddler's grasp.

he hums until the short, uneven gasping of air come to a stop. donghyuck shifts away from mark's neck, wetness gleaming over and streaming down to his shirt. mark can see him clearly now, eyes stained red and puffy. his features are an exaggerated display of how he looks when he smokes a joint and is bouncing off the walls.

"i think," donghyuck tries. he starts to shakes violently in mark's hold again, regaining breath. mark shudders in response, right under his boyfriend's hot breath on his collarbone. he closes his eyes.

he realizes his foot is asleep, but there is no use fighting against the needles prickling into his heel at the moment. the rest of his body succumbs to being numb when donghyuck is able to finish his sentence, waiting but is met with an air of silence. soon, there are tufts of hair lifting off mark's shoulder. weight peeled off externally only to relocate internally in his rib cage.

his arms shifting to confide in the open space. mark makes no effort to move. he eyes are still closed, not daring to observe anything else. he hears some shuffling, some footsteps. the door shuts.

the anxiety mark has been holding inside rushes out with each breath. his entire body is exhaling, rattling like it was the first breath he has ever taken. he feels like he is shrinking, or decomposing. in spite of the feeling, he sinks down further into the couch, curling into himself, clutching onto the blanket. nails sinking into the cotton.

mark thought he had swallowed the entire planet raw. then he comprehends that it was not just a planet, but alternate galaxies holding him and donghyuck apart with all their strength.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by SALES' song "ivy" check it ouuuut. got me emo
> 
> also pls do not think i am like self absorbed by saying i am lowkey proud of this hehe even though it is kind of cliche (i make this comment bout all the shit i write anyway doe so. yeah)
> 
> p.s. every time i listen to a 127 song on the new album i start tearing up  
> p.s.s. someone teach me how to tag lol


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